Friends With Benefits

 


  When your co-workers find out that you own a vehicle that will fit the new love seat that they have to have inside of their own minds, you suddenly become a friend with benefits. Normally these are the same people who have problems remembering your exact name: like if your name is Brad they still some times call you Brian. All of a sudden you are the source for all of their answers. 

 It has been years since your worth has been valued this much....maybe not since the day that your were born and proved to be healthy with all of your fingers and toes. The first natural tendency is to basque in the glory of being something to somebody, when those two seconds are over with, you move on to protecting your time, your property, and your lifting capability. These are all the things expected in exchange for a few nice words and a quick smile. All of a sudden your life is filled with things that are more important than feeding starving children in Calcutta like Mother Theresa...you call this 'washing your hair' or 'house sitting your neighbors elderly cat with bowl problems', also known as anything that sounds plausible and can't be found out to be a bold faced lie. 

Some people would say why not just tell the truth and tell your co-worker that you are not interested in using your gas, your time, and your muscle to lug a two seat couch up a flight of stairs because you are waiting for them to evicted instead because of all the other things you have heard coming out of their mouth. As much joy as it is verbally slapping people in the face, house sitting a fake neighbors cat with bowl problems is starting to feel so much better than 'hells bells no way and here's why...'.

 Then there are those who can't take a hint, a tip, or a guided tour to the answer of 'no'. They beg, they nag, they stalk, they know when and where you will be because you both work at the same place. This is when you start to feel like Mother Theresa even though you have done nothing to help anyone, you too have fought the devil in the name of oppression and have won the daily battle in the name of good against evil. Based on the amount of whining, begging, and daily pleas of need, you are almost positive that those starving children in Calcutta complained less. This is when you reaffirm to yourself that adults are suppose to take care of themselves and that you are not the only person in the USA with a vehicle that can move a love seat. Now you are just waiting out the siege.
  Eventually this person should move on to someone else...theoretically. Or you get promoted because your boss is impressed by your new dedication to your job as way to stay as busy as you publicly claim to be and then really don't have time for any of your former goofing off....maybe you should have moved the couch....at least then you could still goof off.

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Big In The U.ASS.A.

 

 We all work hard, some work really hard, and then there are those who work extra hard trying to do things that will let them work smarter and not harder. There is that old joke from the short lived TV show In Living Color, "How many job ya got mon?" Then the other person would respond that he had three jobs. The group would laugh and say that the man was lazy then move onto the next guy who had five jobs. Generally the joke was the most poverty stricken people or the ones fresh off the boat from Ellis Island could only get crappy part time jobs so they always had more than one. Personally I have been known to juggle three jobs at the same time while looking for one good job that never happened.

  Everyone tries to make their lives better, everyone tries to work hard enough to find a happy medium between doing and not doing so much that we don't miss out on the some of the happier moments. Many believe in the concept of 'only wanting a happy life', and some just work harder than others to get something they could call happiness....for some the jury is still out on that one.

  For one thing I have been seeing a trend in our society, the more free government hand outs people get the unhappier they become. It is no longer about simply getting the hand out but all the other drama created surrounding it. People who do not have jobs need something to fill their lives, so they complain about the free hand outs that they have been given (it wasn't fast enough, it was the wrong color, the person who gave it to them was rude...etc). Now with 40% of the population supporting the other 60% we are breeding whiny self entitled people who think they have money to spend. In reality they have your money to spend, and they want to maximize the worth of that money by getting as much stuff for free with that money. For example, if these government funded babies go out to eat (at the place where I work) then they will complain until whole entrees have been removed from the bill and then will not tip because they are on a set monthly budget. This is the kind of society our government is creating. Or when I am working hard to sell things online, they buy things continually asking for refunds because they wanted the experience of shopping but can't afford a car to go try on clothes since it is cheaper to harass online sellers. I want this on my tombstone 'I like selling to men because they  know what they want. Women are clueless'. I am not complaining about giving refunds, but if you know that you are a 2XL and just want to see if the XL fits, do not waste my time for me to ship it just to let you try it on. (Side note FYI, damaged inventory from fat ladies cannot be sold again and eBay will always take their side and not yours.) 

  

  This problem has been growing all over our country, we are the lazy asses of America, we are Big in the U. ASS.A. All of these lazy, find a problem with everything people need a little less drama and a little more hunger in their lives.....a hunger to improve or actual hunger because if you don't work you should not weigh 400lbs. Wither is it at my restaurant job or at home trying to be an entrepreneur, all I want for all the whiny bitchy babies is to leave me alone....but America is now a breeding grounds for the self entitled to my tax dollars. Another true statistic that comes to mind that gives me an odd sense of joy, at least people are being convinced that they are too broke to have babies. Not sure which sector this is working more on, but jobs would limit the breeding of child related hand outs. If you at work you ain't screwing....jus' sayin'. If you have a job then maybe you can tip your waitress.

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Cheap: the other paying job.

    

  During the Depression people had to cut back on everything, this was when good stewardship and rationing were the keys to survival. All the things they did to live cheap was just as important as the jobs they begged for. People didn't just run out to Starbucks for a $5 cup of coffee, they either only bought coffee by the cup when it was cold outside or if they had a way to make it at home. Now a days financial experts encourage us in modern times to save the $5 and put it towards the big expenses in our lives because every dollar still counts coming from an age when every penny counted.

  People can choose to live 'cheaply' and some people are forced to live on less, and most of this doesn't matter. Being cheap for the sake of being stingy doesn't really do much, and being cheap because you are broke all the time from lack of good stewardship over your life also does not do any good in this world. Yet if you are actually using the extra pennies in your life to make permanent changes then this is actually serving a purpose. Then the tightwad cheapness is not a miserly view of the world after all.

  If personal habits were truly analyzed with a 'just do it yourself' attitude then most of what we do to save money is a very important job, and could be considered self employment. If you stop yourself from going out to eat how much money did you save? If you don't pay for a lawn service how much over the course of the summer did you save? If you get out of your lazy mind and plan on just doing things for yourself how much money would you save? (Excludes those with actual physical and limited mental disabilities, and not the selectively lazy.) Most of the time it adds up to keeping a part time job to stop yourself from spending money.

  Most people don't realize that if you don't spend unnecessary money you don't have to work as hard to make more money. If all of your basic earthly necessities are taken care of then you don't have to work extra for the unnecessary things that the shopping channel will offer you. It is not a rule or law that every extra dollar go toward 'savings', but if you are questioning if you can pay the water bill then you should not be buying Starbucks or anything else. You should be at home filling up empty containers in case you need to start living like actual Africans who keep their water supply in buckets when your supply gets shut off (I suggest learning about the wash cloth bath, save water).

  This can also be linked to self entitlement issues (definition: someone who thinks they are worth a set level of entitlement), and trust me the water company will not agree that you are entitled to water if you don't pay the bill. This is not about ignoring some pampering in life, but when you are trying to save money and eat in a restaurant everyday then I will not believe that you are serious about saving money or making better things happen in your life with your savings. If you do something every day then this is called a habit and habits can be broken so long as there are not entitlement issues. This can be compared to all the people on Welfare (the 60% of Americans) who are living off of the 'rich' people (also known as you me and Warren Buffet, we are supporting the 40% who don't work). I know that this is a politically sensitive subject, but I am only referring to all the people I know who can work and pretend that they can't. They have major self entitlement issues. If they had a few less entitlement issues and got jobs, I wonder how much money it would save me annually in taxes? I could probably buy a new car. Controlling entitlement issues is a part time job that directly pays yourself to be more aware of your own behaviors. I know that I can save 50-75% of my money by not going out to eat all the time (excludes special times), I know that the library is free, and I don't have any false ideas about my self worth. Then this becomes about valuing myself and not giving additional value to a business when it comes to controlling my money. Starbucks does not control my money. Also, as a public service to restaurants everywhere, if you can't afford more than a $3 tip on any amount of food then DON'T GO OUT TO EAT. Please read one of my other blogs called $3 For 3 Minutes to get my opinion on this subject. Just more hooker money baby!

(Cheap We Trust is actually a good book to read.)

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Innocent Guilty Pleasures

Some times I get teased by my significant other about the the YouTube channels that I subscribe to, and they do not have anything to with inappropriate subjects. Of course I get teased about The Big Bang Theory, Nerdist News, and other geek related topics, but then there are the cooking channels. I say if you want to cook like another culture then cooking channels from these countries would not be a bad idea, especially the French ones (no offense to Jamie Oliver, the naked Chef). 

  For the last couple of years I have been watching Bruno Albouze make things that even Julia Child did not bother to write about and was done in a way that encouraged locally used vegetables (the only thing missing was pep talk about local sustainability to have me drooling even more). The cute-and-he-knows-it personal chef from France has done a professional job of creating interesting and humorous cooking shows for the modern foodie. Usually it just looks like a bored guy in his kitchen who is trying to be funny or a corny kind of suave that parallels the scenario typical idea of what a Frenchman is. Yes he has a cute accent, no he never has and never will be ugly, yes he stays fit with food from his own garden, and has a couple of episodes where he shows you the quaintness of a French outdoors market with his family. Even Martha Stewart would not mind to take a minute and to see this man at work (not sure if I like the man at work thing as much as I like the concept of his flour-less brownies). Also he got me hooked in the early years of his show when he would dress up like Indiana Jones with a pepper mill....I am the only girl in Texas who owns in Indiana Jones hat. 

  He inspires me to try and make hard to make dishes that he makes to look easy (he does use a gas stove while I struggle with electric), and not every meal has to only come from the touch of a microwave button. As of this morning he has found my one weak spot, ravioli. I have not sat down and figured out the art of simply wrapping up goo inside of dough in a way that does not make soup when submerged into boiling water. I can make the best fresh pasta in town...just not with filling in the middle. Then this morning I saw the latest video upload: red/green/yellow striped ravioli. I now have a much better plan when I do decide to tackle this masterpiece in culinary art. Think I will use spinach instead, not a big fan of kale, but then I am not very good a blanching greens...must watch more Bruno.

http://www.brunoskitchen.net/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAxqzVxfBgw

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Hand Made In The USA

 
  
  If you think about it not many people make anything any more. They might make their own food, like lunch for work or dinner for when guests come over, but ordinary every day things are always bought from large department stores. Not many people knit their own socks, crochet their own blankets, sew their own pillow cases, or weave their own wash cloths. The idea of being able to take care of oneself and others seems to be such a foreign idea in today's culture.

  These concepts are not completely unheard of in the Amish and Prepper communities, but they have a religious purpose for their preferred lifestyle. The average American cannot do for themselves, and if there was ever a meat shortage how quickly so  many of them would be in support of gun ownership and hunting. It's strange to think about how obsessed we are with fashion, but only a select few can actually make a sweater with two needles and some yarn. We have become such a lazy society that no even tries to learn any more, except for then directions to the nearest Walmart. 

  Most consumers have grown accustomed to the cheap mass produced quality that foreign countries offer, yet at the same time craft supplies are not cheap and they do not sell manufacturer quality supplies to the general public (unless you buy it in $500 lots). To quote Rebecca Alidre Holmes-Anderson, "Most anyone would rather pay $20 at a big box store for a sweater than what it would cost to make it. It’s society’s way of thinking that ‘DIY’ is cheaper than buying the product, and often that’s the case, but with most needle crafts, it’s not.” It usually costs $20 for the yarn alone to make an adult sized sweater, not including labor.

  This supply and demand has made so many of us reject the idea that we can take the same tools and supplies to make the same things ourselves for the same price and we can't. Because China is cheaper and the US believes in minimum wage, we no longer try as hard to make things for ourselves. Of course a sweater is cheaper if it only cost a company in China 3 cents an hour to make plus $1.50 in yarn, and $3 in shipping costs to the United States. 

  The only way I can make a sweater as cheap as that is by going to yard sales and thrift shops, and buying already made sweaters that I will recycle the yarn from. I know of a store where I can buy out of season sweaters for 50 cents, then turn them into things I need, like socks, scarves, and wash clothes. There is a will with a way. 

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Three Dollars For Three Minutes

 

  During WWII in Hawaii, on Pearl Street prostitutes worked in a set of rooms that went in a circle called the bull pen, in these rooms they would entertain a soldier for three minutes then move on to the next room. This is where the expression $3 for 3 minutes came from. This also helped to cement the term a 'working girl', because this was no ordinary 8 hour shift.
   Very often I will work the morning shift at my part time restaurant job, and most of the customers are elderly and female. No matter how much you bust your butt making everything perfect during their two hour visit they will only tip you three dollars, and they are senile enough to believe they have only been there for three minutes. Performing these tasks day after day really makes prostitution look like an equal opportunity with the same job description, except you can be self employed and work from home, unlike the restaurant business.
  Don't get me wrong, not everyday is a bad day, but every time I see those three one-dollar bills sitting on the table or that amount written on the credit card receipt, all I can think of is Pearl Street prostitution as I watch the old ladies hobble out the door. I am also very sure that they were protected enough in their youth and kept so busy with children all their lives that they never got around to learning more about history or where the expression $3 for 3 minutes came from. So now in their ancient age and blindness to all things (like inflation, minimum wage, and cost of living), they revert back to what they think was a good tip when they were younger.....like in 1960.
   Don't get me wrong, I like talking with old people and making others happy, but my boss does not like it when I try to only spend three minutes with each table so that I can still pay my bills. It's is such a regular expectation for me to only be given the value of $3 that I have considered doing what other servers have already done...such as screening a table before taking it. There are two servers who I work with who do not wait on people who appear to be over the age of 45, and who do not dress as if they did not buy their clothes from Goodwill. I do agree, this is discrimination, but I get to keep my water hot and my lights on if I stop taking tables that only tip $3 because they are not from 2015.

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